I feel like...

I want to change.

I want life to start happening.

I just want the chapter in my life's book to change.

In a Sense I would love to have been luckier

I used to ask myself "why me"

But I know if i've made it this far, God must have kept me for a purpose

I know I'm already so lucky to be living

but I also wonder if what I have gone through has changed me as a person

Would I be a better "me" if i didn't have to go though it all like everyone else?

to stop loving you

Is it because everything in my life has to work in its reverse?

If I love you does that mean that you hate me?

and what if i hate you?

would you love me?

I honestly hate and love you.

does that mean you don't know what to think of me?

or does it mean you hate and love me to?

I can't know longer what to do with you.

I still want to be your friend like we were

I loved you and you loved me but we both grew,

apart.

How do you like me now

I hate you. Why did i have to fall for you. Why did I think you were so special, when you wern't. Was it cause I called dibs on you first. I thought you were special before anyone knew you. Now your the coolest guy and everyone adores you. But me. I hate you so much that I love you. I just love to hate you and I hate to love you. Its always been like that. I feel like i've been so played without you ever noticing me. I know you won't touch me because you know I'm too good for that. I like that, but I hate it too. I want you. I hope one day you and me can work. Cause I've tried to play my life out in my head and it always ends with me and you. I want the day to come where I won't want you anymore. I want to be somewhere in my life one day and be able to laugh in his face for passing by the offer. that is if he wasn't mine.

The Time Bomb

I want to live forever, but how can I if I'm just a ticking time bomb. As each second passes I am without another second. What if this time bomb was to just never end. Never stop ticking. In reality it has to stop but what if it doesn't for a real long time? I don't want to be a time bomb no more but I have no choice. In a sense I'd like for that final explosion not to be so big. Or what if they had disassembled the time bomb. Well yes, while disassembling it could go off. What if I was spared my life of this time bomb. I would never have to worry again. I'd never have to worry about being alone, being far or just having it explode. What a relief that would be?

The present is no longer a present

I hate this part right here.

After he loves you.

He now is with someone else.

We've agreed to be friends, but I still hate it.

It's the same feeling as if an atheist was trying to discuss God with his unknowing friends.

It just doesn't feel right hearing the words "I love you" being replaced with" I love her" or just "goodbye".

At times I feel that I'd rather not talk to you at all, instead of talking.

But I still don't want to forget what you did to my life.

Once Successful ...

I know I have simply made it when I can wake up everyday with with a smile, dance around and just love the day!

What If?

What if?

What if I was to leave?

What if I was to never come back again?

What if I Knew I loved you?

What if I knew you loved me?

What if I was to leave?

What if I was never come back again?

What if you knew about me?

Well, you don't.

You do know who this person is on the outside.

But do you truly know whats going on on the inside.

There's more to me.

There''s a whole another story that you don't have a clue about.

Thats why I'm great at what I do.

Thats why I'm an actor.

A great liar I am.

What if I was lying this whole time

What if every time you asked me if I was fine, I'd lie?

What if I was to always respond with Great or Good?

What if?

What if I was never to leave?

What if I was to come back again?

What if I didn't Know I loved you?

What if I didn't know you loved me?

What if I was to never leave?

What if I was come back again?

What if you didn't know about me?

Well, you do.

How would I rather live? Endlessly without you or shortly with you.